Agreeing on how children spend their time with each parent during the festive season can be challenging for separated parents. From practical issues like travel plans to balancing emotions and traditions, Christmas can quickly become complicated. In her latest insights, Emilie Holland, Family Solicitor at Woodstock Legal Services, shares 12 practical tips - one for each of the "12 Days of Christmas" - to help make this time enjoyable for everyone.

These tips are designed to help separated parents create a magical and stress-free Christmas while ensuring arrangements work in the best interests of their children.

12 Days of Christmas - Tips for Separated Parents

1. Plan early.

The sooner both parents get the diaries out and give dedicated thought to what Christmas might look like, the better. Early agreements make it easier to sort out a plan without the stress of last-minute changes or rushed decisions.

2. Work around practical obstacles first.

Christmas arrangements can be more complicated than usual routines. Things like visiting extended family further afield or working around key traditions - such as Christmas lunch, present opening, or church services - can create extra considerations. Sorting these out first helps everything fall into place more smoothly.

3. Be transparent.

The more secretive the plan, the bigger the challenge it is to agree on arrangements. Sharing your ideas openly helps the other parent understand what you’re trying to do and makes it easier to work together. Clear communication reduces unnecessary stress and confusion.

4. Provide detail.

If your plans involve staying somewhere other than your home, let the other parent know the details. Sharing where the children will be staying and for how long keeps everyone informed and helps build trust.

5. Put the children first.

Christmas is one of the most exciting times of the year for children, but the magic can quickly disappear if plans are built around parents' preferences rather than the children's best interests. Focus on their joy and excitement when making decisions.

6. Communicate effectively.

Once plans are agreed, make sure everyone involved - including the children and extended family - knows what’s happening. Clear communication avoids misunderstandings and ensures everyone feels prepared.

7. Agree on a contingency plan.

Life doesn’t always go as planned. Whether it’s unexpected travel issues or an undercooked turkey, having a backup plan can avoid disruption and keep things calm and stress-free for the children.

8. Fairness matters.

When it comes to dividing time, aim for arrangements that feel fair for the children and both parents. Focus on creating quality moments together rather than worrying about exact time splits.

9. Create consistency where possible.

Try to create similar Christmas experiences in both homes. Agreeing on things like gift budgets or sharing certain traditions can help children feel more settled and avoid comparisons.

10. Be considerate.

Spending time without your children during Christmas can be hard. Acknowledge these feelings and help your children enjoy time with their other parent. Encouraging a positive experience on both sides will help maintain their happiness during the holidays.

11. Formalise arrangements if needed.

If informal discussions aren’t working, consider putting plans in writing. A clear agreement can help avoid last-minute stress and ensure everyone understands what has been decided.

12. Keep the magic alive.

Whether your children are with you or their other parent, focus on making Christmas special for them. Share traditions, encourage their excitement, and remind them they are loved and celebrated in both homes.

Specialist Advice for Separated Parents from Woodstock Legal Services

If you're finding Christmas arrangements challenging this year, our experienced family lawyers are here to help. Contact Emilie Holland, Family Solicitor, by emailing e.holland@woodstocklegalservices.co.uk or completing the form below.

Let us help you create a stress-free, magical Christmas for your family.